Let Go
by RinaluffsPokemonboys
Summary: Angeal loved Zack in more ways than he could imagine. He knew they could never last forever, but that didn't make letting him go any easier.


This fanfiction was purely inspired by both skyping and roleplaying with my lovely Ziggy Pasta. We started doing a Zangeal out of a random impulse, and last night we were thinking about how if Zack learned everything from Angeal... why did they break up? This was my answer. (:

So, babycakes, this is for you. You beta'd it, and you inspired it. (: You inspire me daily. -arm bump-

-begin-

He was falling in love. It was a sad realization, terribly sad. Angeal knew the day was going to have to come sooner or later, but he didn't know his heart could feel this... broken. It was like there was a gap in his chest, and every time he breathed, no air reached his lungs. But that was preposterous, as his lungs kept moving, and his mind kept working, and his legs kept walking.

That didn't mean that it didn't hurt, though. It did hurt, quite a lot more than the First-Class SOLDIER would ever let on. He was a strong man, a proud man – meaning he would be damned if anyone saw him hurt. It worked fine, his facade that is. He went on about his life, training young SOLDIERs and discussing tactics with Sephiroth, who too, had noticed the subtle changes in Angeal's relationship.

Which was why he was here, walking across the mess hall towards the two boys. He didn't feel any anger, or any spite at all. He had trained his brain a long time ago to run alongside those of teenage men. To understand how they worked and felt. _Zack Fair was falling in love._ Yes, yes he was. And there was no way that Angeal could blame him, or the small blond sitting across from him.

They seemed to be mesmerized by a game of Go Fish. The small blond appeared to be winning, a small smile hidden by his muffler, a blush on his cheeks. Zack was making a big show out of his loss, stirring a up a giggle inside of the young cadet. This giggle set off Zack, whose laugh was loud and lovely, and Angeal couldn't help but smile as he reached the table, watching as the deck of cards was scattered everywhere.

"Boys," Angeal said, greeting the two in his best friendly, but firm voice, a slight smile on his lips.

Zack turned to him and grinned widely, offering a two-finger salute. "Hey, Angeal. What's up?"

He was about to reply, but it seemed the cadet was recovering from a small fit, as he dropped the cards like they were burning, and stumbled to his feet, saluting him like a proper cadet. "C-Commander Hewley, sir!" he said, the blush on his cheeks now there from embarrassment, rather than young love.

"At ease, cadet, I'm not here for inspection." Angeal couldn't keep the amused grin off his face. Maybe Zack had picked a winner. "But I would like to speak with Zack for a little while, can you spare him?"

The cadet's blush had exploded, his entire face the color of a cherry. "O-of course, sir! You two go, I'll clean up the c-cards..." He tucked a bit of blond hair behind his ears, nodding.

"Whoa, c'mon Cloudie, I got the cards," Zack said, shuffling around to collect the scattered cards. The cadet insisted on helping, and Angeal watched as the two gathered them up, making a hidden game out of it. There was a moment when they both reached for the same card, and their hands touched, then their eyes met, and Angeal was sure he saw the beginnings of love in both of their eyes. That only reaffirmed Angeal's belief that yes, he had to do this tonight.

So mentor and student bade the cadet a good night, and as they walked, Zack turned around on his heel, his phone in his hand, and mouthed to the blond male, "I'll call you!"

It was just a short walk from the mess hall to the SOLDIER apartments, but to Angeal it was so incredibly tiring. Zack was talking excitedly about something or other, probably a mission that he had been on that day. Angeal was normally so in tune with Zack, absorbing all the silly boy said, but today it just washed over him, soothing, but at the same time, horribly painful.

"So, Angeal, what did you wanna talk about?" Zack asked as they entered his apartment. His face was happy and bright, and Angeal almost wanted to forget everything and just take him into his arms again. "Or maybe you just missed me and wanted a little Zack time to yourself, eh?" Zack grinned again, looking horribly cheesy.

Yes, it was quite safe to say that Angeal's heart was far past broken. "C'mere, pup," Angeal said, holding out his arms and pulling Zack against his chest. He kissed his head, taking in the feeling of Zack – his hair, his arms, the way his body fell against his. Soon Zack would be memorizing the same feelings of another.

"What is it, Angeal?" Zack pulled away after a moment, confusion written on his face.

Angeal let out a heavy sigh, his eyes going from Zack's to his shoes, to the boy's mako-infused eyes again. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to let him go. "Pup. We... can't do this anymore." There. He had said it. It was out and there was no way to take it back.

It seemed like a fear hidden deep within Zack was bubbling to the surface, his eyes beginning to turn glassy. "What do you mean?" He started with a shaking laugh, but it died once he caught Angeal's eyes with his own again. "N-no... Angeal... why not? What did I do?" His voice was getting higher, his body shaking.

"Nothing, pup." Angeal held Zack away at arm's length, watching sadly as the tears formed in the younger man's eyes. "You're just... growing up."

The tears had formed, and slowly they began their journey down his face. "S-so?! You are too. Stop joking around Angeal, you're scaring me...."

"I'm not joking... Pup, I would never joke about this..." Angeal's voice was laced with his own sadness, the pain in his chest growing. "Please, listen." Angeal closed his eyes to compose himself – take one final breath. "Things are changing. Not just us. Times are getting worse... Zack, you're becoming a man... I can't keep you against my chest forever."

Zack shook his head, and pressed himself against Angeal's body again. "Angeal... no. Please don't... _Please." _The pain in his voice was almost too much to bare, and once more Angeal pushed Zack away.

"Zack, listen to me," Angeal said, his voice becoming for a moment aggravated. "I love you, pup. I love you so much –" Zack released a hiccup of a laugh. "– Which is why we can't do this. I'm holding you back... I always have been. You need to find someone that can be your equal... I've never been that to you..." He was releasing it all. Angeal having been a very conservative man, normally refused to delve deep into his emotions. But with Zack... he had never been good at keeping things from him. Not ever. Today would be no excuse.

"Can't I do anything? Please Angeal..." Zack was desperate, his fingers squeezing Angeal's wrists.

"No, pup... please just... stop." And he did. Those hands fell limply to his side, defeated. "Go. Go call your cadet friend...."

"I-is that an order?" Zack's tears were falling, and the boy seemed unashamed of the pain he was feeling.

Angeal said nothing. He couldn't, he could just watch as the man stepped away from him and turned to the door. A hand fell on the knob, and Angeal knew that it was over. "Zack." The man twisted the doorknob, but didn't open it. "I'm sorry." The tears in his own eyes were beginning to follow Zack's, inching slowly down his face. "I'll always be here for you, pup. Like I was before. This won't change anything, I promise. Any problems, any issues, and advice you need... please pup, please... you come to me."

Zack nodded, and the door was opened. No more words were exchanged, and Angeal wondered if it would be for the better. As the door closed with a snap, Angeal sunk onto the couch, shading his face as he wept. Yes, this hurt quite a bit. It would always hurt somewhere inside him. But he had to let Zack go. Let him be his own person, find his own love. Angeal had only been there to prepare him, to mentor him like he mentored him in SOLDIER, and that was okay....

-fin-


End file.
